Meghan

I had an abortion in the state of Louisiana, where there aren’t many clinics to choose from. On the day of my procedure I squeezed into a small room with about 40 other women.

“It leaves thousands of women with no choice but cram into that hallway and leave feeling humiliated.”

There was no option for anesthesia; you could pay extra for what was essentially a stronger dose of Ibuprofen, but the doctor said it wouldn’t do much anyway. We each had to go in for an ultrasound, where we were told we had to look at the fetus before we could move on. It didn’t bother me, but it made other women leave.

After waiting several hours they were ready to start the procedures. A nurse came into the room and handed everyone plastic grocery bags and a hospital gown. We were then instructed to line up in the hallway and go into the restroom, put our clothes in the bag, and wear the gown. The gown didn’t close; you had to stand there and hold it around yourself. You could see right through it. I waited in line with the other women all feeling exposed and vulnerable in these see-through paper gowns. Many of us couldn’t help but cry in that hallway, including myself.

One by one they led us into the one exam room they had. As I got closer to the door I’d watch each woman limp out in tears and get in the new line to put your clothes back on. When my turn came, I entered the room, the nurse wiped down the bed and I got on it. With no painkillers I had a rushed abortion that lasted about two minutes total. When it was over I stood up and was instructed to shove the bottom of the gown between my legs so I didn’t bleed everywhere.

I waited in the hallway with my plastic bag to get into the bathroom to clean up and get dressed. I had to prop myself against the wall because I was in shock and my entire body was trembling, my skin felt cold and everything kept going black, then I’d snap out of it. A nurse noticed I wasn’t alright, and her only remedy was a juice box, which I couldn’t keep down.

There was no recovery. There was no followup. This happens every day in states that are fighting women’s rights to have abortions, where women aren’t properly educated on sex and reproduction to begin with. It leaves thousands of women with no choice but cram into that hallway and leave feeling humiliated. I still have nightmares about it. But I’ll never regret the choice I made, because it was my decision.