John

In 1990, I was 36 years old, and I finally had a good-paying job working for a government agency with excellent health benefits. At last I had the resources to do what I had wanted to do for ten years or more—to undergo surgical sterilization.

“Those members of my family who knew of my decision were against it.”

I wasn’t in a relationship at the time. Those members of my family who knew of my decision were against it, and I had to endure some argument against it. But I knew that I was not cut out to be a father, and I did not want the complications that would come into play if that happened accidentally.

To become a father at the demand of circumstances would not have been fair to the child or its mother. So I had the operation, and I have never looked back. The peace of mind that it has given me has enabled me to design the life I want rather than one dictated by circumstances. Some would call that selfish; I call it being responsible.