Natalie

It was finally time for my 20-week ultrasound. My husband and I would learn the sex of our first child. We hadn’t even considered the reason for these routine ultrasounds—to assess the health of the fetus. We got concerned when the ultrasound technician couldn’t find the umbilical cord.

“The only treatment was abortion, but the specialist's employer would not allow her to perform them.”

We saw a specialist the next day. Her ultrasound revealed a very short umbilical cord, and severe developmental problems. This syndrome occurs 1 in every 45,000. The fetus would not survive outside the womb and never would became the baby we had hoped for.

We started grieving immediately. The only treatment was abortion, but the specialist’s employer would not allow her to perform them. She called around to find a clinic that would perform a second-trimester abortion. It cost us $3,500.

The decision to have an abortion was easy, although the situation was heart-wrenching. My friends and colleagues knew I was pregnant. If I continued the pregnancy until the fetus died, I would have faced a C-section. And until then, I would have to field the inevitable questions—When are you due? Is it a boy or a girl? Do you have a name picked out?—and suffer the painful reminder that I was not going to have a baby. And the time waiting for the fetus to die would be time wasted trying to have a living baby.

I had a choice, and that choice saved me from unnecessary mental and physical anguish. My husband and I have two children now, and no regrets. And when I encounter a woman who is excited to find out the sex of her fetus, I am reminded how naive I was and optimistically wish her the best.