Leilani

I became a mother for the first time at the age of twenty-one. I went through with a marriage, to the wrong person, because I was pregnant. I left him less than a year after my daughter was born because he was abusive.

“If I had not had an abortion, we wouldn't have been able to have the children we have now.”

About two years later, I entered into a relationship with a very different man. He proposed about a year into our relationship and we became engaged. During our engagement, I found out I was pregnant. I had been taking birth control, but had switched once or twice since we’d been together.

We were just getting ready to start our lives together and already had a child to take care of—a child who was already dealing with so many major changes—to her living, to her family structure. My daughter needed so much of my time and attention to guide her through this new life already that it would have been unfair to her and to any other child to try to divide that time and attention between them.

I also did not want to feel stuck or like I was entering into a relationship for the wrong reasons again. It was not until we had become engaged that my previous husband had shown his cruel and controlling nature. I refused to put myself, and my daughter, in that situation.

Had I not had an abortion, we would not have been able to have the children that we have now—the children we had when we decided that we were ready and that the time was right, for all involved, for our family to grow.

While I struggled a little with the decision at the time, I ultimately knew that I was making the right choice: for myself, for my daughter, for my family. I do not ever regret my abortion.