Kayla

I got pregnant when I was 19, the same age my mom was when she had me. I was out on my own, and had a great relationship and a great job.

“She told me that if I went through with it, I should never be a mom.”

It was like a bomb that dropped right in the middle of it all. My boyfriend was supportive, but my best friend at the time was not. I fought more with her about it than with my boyfriend. She told me that if I went through with it, I should never be a mom. I felt terrible.

But I made the decision for not only my future, but for my boyfriend’s future. We went to the clinic; I was ten weeks pregnant. The doctor and staff were great but I was kind of in a state of shock and fear. I won’t ever forget how alone I felt in the recovery room and how much I wanted my mom. I continued the next month trying to ignore the loathing I had for myself.

Then another bomb dropped. I lost my job and my boyfriend broke up with me. Those next eight months were the hardest I’ve ever been through. I dealt with severe depression and self-loathing because of my conflicted feelings about the abortion. I felt horrible for feeling relieved and for what I had done. I wanted to regret it, but I couldn’t.

It’s been almost two years now, and my boyfriend and I have been together for a while. I’m hoping to get my certification to be an abortion doula. I still struggle, but I have surrounded my self with loving people who support me. I learned to love myself again.