Brittney

I had never been more scared in my life than when I read the pregnancy test in my college apartment. My birth control had failed, and I was eight weeks pregnant. As a third-year university student and a Division I athlete and knew that the upcoming decisions would be harder than anything I had ever physically done.

“I received a phone call the day I took the pills, suspending me from my team for the rest of the season.”

After talking with my sister and best friend, I decided to have an abortion. I believed it was the most responsible path to take. I was not ready for a child. Although I knew I would have the support of family and friends no matter what decision I made, I was not ready.

I tried to plan the appointment so that it wouldn’t interfere with practice or games, but I ended up having to come clean to my coach. Holding back tears, I told her what had happened and what I was going to do. She responded well enough and said I could miss the weekend game and she would tell my teammates that I was sick. I felt comforted that she was being so understanding.

But then I learned her initial reaction was not authentic. I received a phone call from her the day I took the pills, suspending me from my team for the rest of the season.

That weekend I cried harder than I ever had. I met with her the following week to discuss the suspension and was met with the entire coaching staff telling me that what I was doing was bringing too much drama to the team. I had come to them in a time of need and was rejected based on the stigma that having an abortion means that my life is out of control.

Not only had they taken away my team, but they had also told other coaching staff members what was going on; violating my privacy and encouraging the image that abortion is something that I shouldn’t have been able to choose or something I should be ashamed of.

I had no other option than to quit the team at the seasons end, stripping me of my full-ride scholarship.

Some people assume if a woman chooses to have an abortion she is not of sound mind. That is not the case. It took me years to work past the self-blame and shame. I now realize that they had no right to try to, and cannot, make me feel bad about my decision. I regret nothing. If I’d had that child I would not have the life I have today. The decision to have an abortion made me grow and shed the negative people from my life.