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I have always known that I wanted to be a mother; I want it more than anything in the world. On March 2 of 2015 I found out I was pregnant. My mind went a mile a minute.
“One day, I will become a great mother, and this abortion has given me the ability to be one.”
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years; I’m a full-time women’s studies student in Texas, and a full-time server. I wrote out a pros and cons list about having an abortion. I knew that this was my right as a woman to be able to plan a family, and that this time in my life… was not the right time.
The problem with Texas is the amount of laws that surround our choice. The doctors are required to tell you of all the complications that could happen during pregnancy, and when I walked up to the building there were protesters out there daily. I was required to decide if I wanted to hear the heartbeat, and if I wanted to see the pregnancy.
I checked no for both; but when I got into the room for my ultrasound I decided that it would help to see the pregnancy. It helped me because it showed me that this was the size of a pea, no larger. I was 5 weeks pregnant, and I knew that I was going to be strong enough to have an abortion. My abortion was scheduled for March 16, and I had an incredible support team of friends and my boyfriend.
When I was in the room, I immediately started to cry and I wasn’t sure why. I knew the decision that I was making and was supportive of my own decision. I had an incredible staff that held my hand throughout the process, taught me breathing techniques to work through the cramping, and it was over in a matter of minutes.
It’s been four weeks since my abortion, and I feel no guilt, no shame, and no loss. Women shouldn’t feel punished because we want to plan a family and provide for children in ways that perhaps we couldn’t at a certain time in our life. I am happy with the decision that I made, and I feel braver because of it. One day, I will become a great mother, and this abortion has given me the ability to be one.
